Sokehs

My new puppy!






She's pretty energetic. Which I like, I Just hope I can teach her not to chew on my face. She learns really fast, but I'm still just a tad worried. I love her so much though! She's so pretty!

:D

Things that makes me smile when I am so thoroughly and utterly stressed out that I feel like I could die. But there are these things:

English Professors who are exactly what you picture when someone says "English Professor." They say things like, "On next day we'll read Coleridge."
Getting a dog!
Staying up too late looking at Blue Merles
Ayla
Listening to friends' music
Down jackets
Sunshine
Spanish professors that have to be close to 90
Remembering Dad's dogs as puppies when they were the most uncoordinated dogs I've ever seen and would go to jump up the stairs but wouldn't lift their feet enough and just slam straight into the stairs
Seeing a cat fall into water trying to downclimb a tree
Faces people make when they're trying to remember a Spanish word
Tongue-twisting every Spanish word known to man
Babies
About a boy
Rock climbing, really smooth graceful movements
Yoga
Warm hats
Ignoring all the cares and political correctness of the world for just a time so you can breathe, smile, laugh, and remember yourself
My mom, J, B, C, & S.
My brother
SCRUBS!
The feel of my guitar
Perfect brownies
Star Wars, and discussions on Star Wars, and daydreams of Star Wars, (and my Star Wars dictionary I just dug out)
Being a nerd
People who look different
A crash pad
Good grades on tests
Creativitiy
The Wednesday song by The Conchords
Really good _ _ _
Blue christmas lights

Oh the places we'll go....

To Do
Microbiology- 2pg paper & Answer questions
Spanish- 10 sentences, movie summaries, quizes, the list goes on
Philosophy- Read, write 9-12pg paper
English- Read, write 5pg essay
Go to Math Dept. Fed. Work Study
Go to Women's Studies Dept. about class transferring
Clean the house
Study for Spanish Oral Final
Doctor's Appointment
Do some yoga
Rewrite paper proposal
Catch up on Computer labs
Study for Computer Test
Don't forget to eat

beeeeee yourself

It's really amazing to have those moments where you feel like...you. Like you're not trying to be anyone else, not acting or looking like anyone else, not trying to make some sort of impression, you're just you. Most of the time I get these moments right before I fall asleep. I just feel peaceful, and alright, and like me.

I like it.

good girl:bad girl

I have never realized how hard it is to picture an actualized world of equality. Not that things will be fair, but that they're equal. It's hard to picture a world that has moved on from dichotomies, this idea of good:bad light:dark smart:dumb black: white. Everyone thinks of life in dichotomies, "If I'm not this, I'm this." And they construct their "selves" from it. But the truth is, you aren't good or bad, you're somewhere in between. Because sometimes you do really good things, and sometimes you do really bad things. You can't be completely one or the other.

And as much as I believe it, I can't see the world seeing it that way. For some reason we like good:bad friend:enemy lover:hater.

What you do with your money

Pretty much since we can look back at history, it seems to be consistent that people with money don't give as much as people without. People who have nothing are more willing to share what they have.

I heard recently that Brittney Spears makes 750,000 per month, pays 45,000 for her mortgage, 100,000 on parties & alcohol, all per month. And gives 500 a year for donations. Now, I have no idea if it's true. My point is not to pick on Spears it's just an extreme example of a rich person.

Our materialism in America is completely out of hand. My materialism is completely out of hand. If Paul could write a letter to us, I'm sure there would be a long list of things to berate us about, but materialism may be on the top. Mostly because it affects everything else. It affects our relationships and our personalities.

Living in Pohnpei really taught me how much I don't need and how much I can live without. However it didn't take long for me to get back into the old desire for nothing. I just don't want to become the person who has replaced my personality with materialism.

Refreshed, starting.....now

I spent Saturday on the West Facing side of Smith Rock. It was beautiful. It felt so good after a week of finals to be outside, to be doing something besides sitting staring at words on paper. We met 2 pretty awesome people, and Dan may have found another climbing partner for mountaineering, which would be great for him.

Sunday a climber was coming down somewhere on the Southeast side and fell. He was 55 and died when he fell. He wasn't climbing, although he was a climber, he fell coming down a steep trail. I just feel as if I should mention him and keep the people around him in your thoughts.

Ever since my grandmother died a few weeks ago, I just feel the need to remember people. You can't keep the dead alive. But I can keep their thoughts with me. And my good friend Jesselle told me after my grandmother died, that in a way she gets to live on through me and that she's probably very excited to live on through me and rock climb, and surf and love and be active. Which boils down to the fact that I need to remember that it's important to live. To not waste time on things that will never matter. I can only live, I don't have any other choice. And I miss Grams so much, but I can remember her, and that's what matters.


I did not think that bell hooks could possibly teach me anything else new. Well, I figured that by rereading her works I would come to new insights, just like when you reread anything. I am currently reading her "Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center" and I am, as usual, blown out of the water. I just finished a section where she's talking about how saying "I'm a Feminist" implies it's a lifestyle, and people attempt to use it as a lifestyle when they're searching to define themselves. But the truth is, it is not a lifestyle. Feminism is a political movement and that it would be more appropriate to say "I advocate Feminism" as opposed to "I am a Feminist." By saying we advocate feminism, it doesn't negate other political movements or theories. It just says that we advocate the movement to end sexist oppression and systems of dominations (whether it's sex, race, or class). I love it that she specifies all systems of domination. Because they are all interrelated and it is necessary to address them all at the same time, not try to fight one at a time leaving the other to fend for itself.

I was having trouble reading Tong's summary on all the different types of Feminism. None of them seemed to be what was completely right. bell hooks just gives me so much courage and insight every time I turn the page. I feel refreshed and hopeful again.

I am studying for my last midterm. I've gotten close to enough sleep this week, but I've spent so much time studying, doing homework/papers, or thinking about them, that I am exhausted. In 1 hour my last midterm will be done and I have roughly a week of nothing (besides reading and some minor assignments).

Taking 18 credits has drained me. I'm just glad I have Dan, and that 2 of my classes are inspirational as opposed to draining (TA's math 211 and Feminist Philosophy, I suppose Spanish isn't too draining sometimes).

Last night I went to see Gace Lee Boggs. A 92 year old woman who sat in front of an entire audience and spoke to us about her experiences and insights. It was really amazing. It was difficult to hear her much of the time, but it was still amazing. As with most speeches, the Q & A at the end is the best part. Because then the words just flowed out of her naturally and I got so much out of it. One of the things that spoke directly to me was that too many times we're eager to criticize the government and our representatives, and it's not that we should ask a lot of them and critique them; but a more constructive subject would be to talk about the ways in which we can empower ourselves and be empowered to change things. We should be active citizens.

It was a really amazing experience, just like seeing Angela Davis last year. I am provided with so many opportunities, I feel so blessed.

And it was refreshing, even though I'm exhausted. It's just refreshing to sit back and experience compassion through words and the sharing of positive ideas. And to see such a wide range of people come together to learn from someone with so much experience.