I had a great time road tripping down to Clear Lake with my dad. Lots of great conversation and catching up. It was the first year I spent time getting to know my Great Aunt Peggy's side of the family. Normally Aunt Peggy's family kind of stays on their side of the hotel we rent, and Grams' side stays on their side of the hotel. Not that they don't mix, but the younger ones (40 and under) stay each to their own. I think with Grams dying last year we almost didn't have a choice. This was Grams' favorite time of year and so I think we all just went, "This is ridiculous, we're all family."
I miss Grams. I thought that after a year it would be easy. It was hard to see Aunt Peggy sitting by herself. It was hard to take pictures and only bring out one chair for the remaining matriarch. Normally, after awhile I don't have anyone to talk to, so I'd just go sit by Grams. Sometimes we'd talk, sometimes we wouldn't.
I guess that's why I don't how to "correctly" mourn. It all seems fake, it all seems either ridiculous or not something Grams would want.
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