Now that I've calmed down I feel much better. Not that I think I was in the wrong, but you gotta let things go I suppose.

So now I'm finishing up my "strong women" paper. I don't like it so far. It's hard to make it sound not cheesy or like a 5 year old wrote it. Oh well, I just need to get 9 pages and then look over it. Whew

anger

I don't feel angry a lot. I get irritated, perturbed, but very rarely downright outraged (well, unless we're talking about something huge like, world poverty or something). But today, I was really flippin' mad.

It's always those iffy situations that are the worst, where it's not against the rules, but not necessarily the best idea, but you go with it anyways. It's not that it's wrong, morally or otherwise.

I took Sokehs in to moms work so we could show the people in the office. So we took her upstairs, then I took her outside so that she could go the bathroom and when I went to go back in I was told by an older white male (I specify because I feel that it actually makes a difference) that I couldn't take her inside. I said I'd just had her inside and he said, "Not with all that food in there." So I walked away. I wanted to turn around and scream, and ya know what, I kinda think I should've. He thought I was going to take her into the kitchen, where all the packers eat on their lunch. This is where I get angry. If he knew I was T's daughter, he wouldn't have said a word, or if I was a relative of someone in the office, he wouldn't have said anything. But being a packer, means he automatically is above them and is allowed to be a complete prick to them and their children. This is what I can't handle.

No one likes to be told what to do, and I am the first to admit that. But if you're going to tell me what to do, you better damn well treat me with some respect, because otherwise I'm not going to do what you say. And we didn't, mom carried the dog right back into her office. (As she should've considering all the people in the office bring their dogs to work from time to time)

Anyways, I just hate it that old white men think they have the right to tell me what to do. As if somehow they have my respect for being who they are. However, pretty much all of my experiences with older white men has led me to first assume they're a complete ass, (for instance being asked out by an older white male paraglider, when I was 16 and he was 40, or overhearing a group of older white men (much older) say that young girls definitely want older men for such and such reasons). Anyways, I just can't handle it much longer. And if someone demands my respect and obedience with absolutely no reason he is not going to get it. It's not that I automatically think the worst of people, it's that I only listen to the people who have earned a spot in my life (which should be the case, because no one should listen to just anyone).

Grr.

el trabajo=paper

Sokehs is finally asleep and I am working on my paper on strong women. Thank goodness she's asleep, I had to take her out to run around because today is the first day she hasn't left with Dan in the morning and when he left, she did not appreciate it. Now she's hanging halfway off the couch sleeping.

I have asked 2 people how they define strong women. And there are similar characteristics, and there is especially a root one (one that might influence other ones). But I'm still unsure of how to write my paper. I want it to be good, but I'm starting to feel like it's cheesy and childish. It is important to me, but I'm just not sure I'm finding what I want. I'm not even sure I know what I want in this paper.

Well, I better just go start writing anyways.

Sokehs

My new puppy!






She's pretty energetic. Which I like, I Just hope I can teach her not to chew on my face. She learns really fast, but I'm still just a tad worried. I love her so much though! She's so pretty!

:D

Things that makes me smile when I am so thoroughly and utterly stressed out that I feel like I could die. But there are these things:

English Professors who are exactly what you picture when someone says "English Professor." They say things like, "On next day we'll read Coleridge."
Getting a dog!
Staying up too late looking at Blue Merles
Ayla
Listening to friends' music
Down jackets
Sunshine
Spanish professors that have to be close to 90
Remembering Dad's dogs as puppies when they were the most uncoordinated dogs I've ever seen and would go to jump up the stairs but wouldn't lift their feet enough and just slam straight into the stairs
Seeing a cat fall into water trying to downclimb a tree
Faces people make when they're trying to remember a Spanish word
Tongue-twisting every Spanish word known to man
Babies
About a boy
Rock climbing, really smooth graceful movements
Yoga
Warm hats
Ignoring all the cares and political correctness of the world for just a time so you can breathe, smile, laugh, and remember yourself
My mom, J, B, C, & S.
My brother
SCRUBS!
The feel of my guitar
Perfect brownies
Star Wars, and discussions on Star Wars, and daydreams of Star Wars, (and my Star Wars dictionary I just dug out)
Being a nerd
People who look different
A crash pad
Good grades on tests
Creativitiy
The Wednesday song by The Conchords
Really good _ _ _
Blue christmas lights

Oh the places we'll go....

To Do
Microbiology- 2pg paper & Answer questions
Spanish- 10 sentences, movie summaries, quizes, the list goes on
Philosophy- Read, write 9-12pg paper
English- Read, write 5pg essay
Go to Math Dept. Fed. Work Study
Go to Women's Studies Dept. about class transferring
Clean the house
Study for Spanish Oral Final
Doctor's Appointment
Do some yoga
Rewrite paper proposal
Catch up on Computer labs
Study for Computer Test
Don't forget to eat

beeeeee yourself

It's really amazing to have those moments where you feel like...you. Like you're not trying to be anyone else, not acting or looking like anyone else, not trying to make some sort of impression, you're just you. Most of the time I get these moments right before I fall asleep. I just feel peaceful, and alright, and like me.

I like it.