A new location

I think I am changing my blog to a different location. I'm going to try it out for a bit at wordpress. I'm not sure if it's better, but we'll see. http://tarnna.wordpress.com

pdx for a day

Yesterday Dan and I got to go to pdx. Most of the day was spent wandering through the best stores in the world (US Outdoor Store, Powells, Buffalo Exchange, The Red Light, and various goodwills). I'm not sure I'd call it a successful trip, although I did find some socks and a great pair of jeans, it was still wonderful. We also helped Dad and Donna pick up their new IMac and free IPod Touch with the student discount.

Dan was a little disappointed with the outcome of his search, trying to find some cheap CAM's in US Outdoor store's bargain Bin, or Climb Max's Bargain Bin, for his & Rhane's annual Climbing trip (this year it's Yosemite). US Outdoor store didn't have anything, and Climb Max was closed

At the end of the evening my mom drove in from HR to take Dan and I out to dinner. A great day with family and some of my favorite places in pdx (although I missed Hans, which was a bummer, but next time).

40 Credits Left

I guess I'm a nerd. I bought all of my textbooks early so that I can try and read them before classes actually start. That way I might be able to return some of them a few days after classes start, and maybe get a head start on projects/papers. I just figure, this is going to be last year, I'm working 3 jobs (not a ton of hours, but enough to be a little stressful), taking 15 credits, and I just want this year to go by as smoothly as possible.

Adoption

I think I'm going to preface this post by saying I have no idea what my future holds or where I'll end up or who will end up in my life. But I want to talk about adoption. (I feel the need to clarify also that Dan and I are not planning on having children for some time-so don't ask/pressure/etc. And, more importantly, the 10 lbs I've gained that anyone who knows me will understand how excited I am about it, has nothing to do with anything growing inside me unless I'm growing tumors in my bum. I gained the weight on my own, so no baby jokes, I deserve my credit. Thank you).

Dan has 3 siblings who were adopted into his family, and Dan and I believe that at some point in the distant(distant) future we will probably adopt. My frustration comes from pretty much everyone I've told so far warning me of adopting a child of a different race. I realize most of these people won't read this post so it's mainly all for my own benefit and solidifying (and questioning) what I believe already.

My first response is that every child in the entire world lacks something. There is no possible way for a parent to be the perfect parent. I would think that would be obvious.

Point number 2 is that all children need love. So, if you can love a child no matter what, I think that is the most important part of parenting.

And lastly, obviously as a white person with privilege I will never fully understand what another person (let alone person of a different race) will go through. The best I can do is listen, do my whole hearted best to understand, and perhaps guide them to someone who really can be sympathetic so that they won't just experience empathy from me (since empathy will in many situations all I can give).

But I believe that all these things are things good parents do no matter the circumstances. Yes, every parent will face different problems to be sorted out depending on different situations, and every parent has to figure out what will work and what is best for the child. But of the millions of children out there who need love, which I believe is the most important thing in a child's life, are you going to be picky about the rest of the stuff?

Holga Day

I've been playing with my HOLGA the last few days. It's lots of fun. I did a little mod and I'll drop off the film today and we'll see how it goes! Fuzzeyeballs has some fantastic decorated Holga's. They're all so tempting I'm going to have trouble deciding on one to do.

B-Day @ Wyotech

Bryce & me on his longboard
Originally uploaded by tarnnation

When I was down in California we gave Bryce his birthday present. Britny, Mom, Dan and I got him a longboard. Dad was just amazed that Bryce was so good on it and then when I jumped on too and we rode around he got pretty excited. It doesn't seem to matter how old I get I still like to impress my parents.

Entertainment for the day

Dan said that when he was a little kid they would give their dog the empty container of ice cream. So he gave it to Endo.


She was a pretty happy little pup, even when she couldn't get her head out of the bucket she didn't seem too upset.

Antrim Family Reunion

I had a great time road tripping down to Clear Lake with my dad. Lots of great conversation and catching up. It was the first year I spent time getting to know my Great Aunt Peggy's side of the family. Normally Aunt Peggy's family kind of stays on their side of the hotel we rent, and Grams' side stays on their side of the hotel. Not that they don't mix, but the younger ones (40 and under) stay each to their own. I think with Grams dying last year we almost didn't have a choice. This was Grams' favorite time of year and so I think we all just went, "This is ridiculous, we're all family."

I miss Grams. I thought that after a year it would be easy. It was hard to see Aunt Peggy sitting by herself. It was hard to take pictures and only bring out one chair for the remaining matriarch. Normally, after awhile I don't have anyone to talk to, so I'd just go sit by Grams. Sometimes we'd talk, sometimes we wouldn't.

I guess that's why I don't how to "correctly" mourn. It all seems fake, it all seems either ridiculous or not something Grams would want.

Releasing Neg. Energy

On the bus yesterday I was interrupted of my usual daydreams/sleep by a slightly strange guy asking me where we were. "HP" I answered. "Oh, ok. And where are you going?" "OSU" "Oh yah, ok." He continued the conversation, not all of my answers were that short (although asking me where I was going, and then later where I worked and what classes I was taking were definitely "vague." You'd have to be pretty slow to not realize I was purposefully not telling my schedule as to avoid being stalked by crazies).

Anyways, the man proceeded to make me hold a crystal (read: pretty blue rock) and told me how it aligns your chakra's and absorbs negative energy. He pulled several more from his bag and showed me, describing what each one does for your chakra's.

I'm not sure how I feel about Chakra's, but having someone talk about releasing negative energy is refreshing.

A night of climbing

Unfortunately I forgot my camera last night when I went on a little adventure with my brother Rhane and Dan. Rhane has been leading a climbing camp all summer so he is amazing and Dan and I haven't done a single thing (partly to save money, partly because I am lazy). Anyways, we drove down to The Crux and climbed. It's not incredibly expensive, but gas plus climbing adds up, however, for a good gym it's totally worth it (OSU gym is packed, hot, and I always manage to run into one snobby climber, however the last is true of almost everywhere). I'm not sure the price was worth it for me considering I haven't climbed since January (on account of being lazy, being poor, and a broken toe a few months back). I climbed very little and my back wants to cave in on itself and every so often I move my arm and it wants to fall off. Plus I managed to knee a small hold rather hard which has given me a bit of a limp. After the gym closed at 10pm, they decided they wanted to try LD at the Columns. So they climbed in the dark with their headlamps until 11:20 and then we drove home.

Unfortunately I missed some amazing night climbing pictures because I forgot to bring my camera. Such is life. Either way, tonight I'm going to get some sleep, clean my house, and play with my dogs. It should be a good night.

The World

66

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site

Oneonta Gorge

Oneonta Gorge
Originally uploaded by tarnnation

Some pictures from my lovely day with Sego, Marie, and Mum.

Oneonta
Originally uploaded by tarnnation

My most recent obsession: Pottery. The trimming and the glazing are great, but I am in love with the wheel. I have an hour and a half to do pottery after I get off work and it's a great way to end the day at OSU (considering the majority of my day is spent in an office being completely useless).

2 days at home

The weekend at home was wonderful. Good friends, good food, and things to do. It's so much easier to be motivated to do things in a beautiful place. Sego and I did a portion of the Old Columbia Gorge Hwy, walked out on the spit and watched the kiteboarders & windsurfers, and then went and did my favorite hike in the world, Oneonta Gorge with the Lower Oneonta Falls.

I miss having so much beauty, color, and amazing people around. I got to hang out with Jilly, Sego, my mom, and meet new people (new people named Amos who is an amazing photographer). Hopefully Jilly and I will be headed for the beach, or Clear Lake, or anything fun in the next few weeks. And the next time Sego comes down we're either doing Eagle Creek, or taking windsurfing lessons so I'm not such a lame-o who was born & raised in Hood River and has never windsurfed. :D

Being in the moment

Today I just sat against the wall of my mostly empty apartment and really felt alive for a little while. I had a killer headache, but I want to be all moved out so I went back for another load of stuff. Before I started actually doing anything I got a cup of juice and just sat against the wall and listened to John Mayer and really felt alive. Ya know, maybe that's why childhood and adolescence are so great, you really feel alive all the time. I don't think adulthood is supposed to be like this, but I think we just get tired and stop really paying attention, really feeling. And it's hard to just live too. At least in college (at least for me) there's issue after issue, more and more things to think about, care about, read about. There's just too many things. And I sort wish that all those people who told me that life gets more stressful as you grow up because of family, kids, jobs, were more true. Because those are life. And so are the issues but they're distant. They make me passionate, but they don't make me alive. I'm not saying that I don't want to know or learn about the issues, I just wish I wasn't so angry and distant, so frustrated and "enlightened." I guess it's the difference between knowledge and wisdom. I feel like I'm jam packed with knowledge, but I have very little wisdom.

Anyways, the moment was nice. I felt alive. I didn't feel scared, or stupid, or concerned about making everyone else in the world comfortable. I just felt like it was a moment I'll remember for awhile.

Creating change

I had a really interesting conversation with a friend the other day. But anyways, this weekend we were talking about the problem of gas prices and alternative energy sources and all that great stuff that's a part of our country right now. But the conversation did me some good. Many times it's easy for me to focus in on something and forget the peripheral. While I am very concerned with our environment, and spending less, this friend focuses on how these things affect companies. Now, I have no idea how this person feels about Wal-Mart, K-Mart, etc. But this person made a huge point about how if people are spending less, that may be good for them, but what about all the small companies they have been keeping in business.

My friend is right. Every issue is multi-faceted. There is no one perfect answer. I am spending less, and that's good, but I could be running another person out of business. And this friend made the point that when I stop shopping at Wal-Mart, I may put the CEO out of business, but they are the ones who will most likely be able to land on their feet. I may also be putting out tons of single parent families who need that one job.

So part of the problem is how materialistic our country is. I don't know the answer. I hope that there is an answer that can support the average American, and still cut out some of the materialism of our country.


Although I disagree with this friend the majority of the time, having the conversation brought me back down to earth. In my life I will have to work with people I disagree strongly with, and they will have good ideas and good points. And I believe in working with people who aren't exactly like me, because I don't have every experience in the book so how could I possibly come up with an answer for every situation. And I know that if I expect this friend to ever believe my experiences, I have to believe theirs. Everyone has their own experiences that are their truths, and one is not more right than another.

This is what a feminist looks like....

I just have to say, I hate it that marriage seems to be the point of life for religions. It's not that I don't love marriage and think it's amazing and a really great thing in life-I just don't think that I was put on this earth for the sole purpose of being a wife. I do think I am here to have relationships with people, everyone around me, which may mean a husband, and children. But I don't think that's the one thing I should live for.

And on another religious note, I really don't appreciate being manipulated. And I don't appreciate telling someone I disagree with someone, and by the end of the conversation they go "Ok, so we all agree" when I flat out said, "I disagree" the entire time.

Dan and I were just talking about churches who claim "to have the truth" and spend more time telling other people how right they are without learning anything ever again. They think the point is to make sure everyone is believing like them, instead of constantly looking at the Bible and seeing new things God has for us to learn. Seeing as how we can't learn everything, and there's no way for us to be 100% correct, shouldn't we just trust that God has it figured out, do what we can, believe what we feel God has led us to, and let it go from there? Especially since, we can never PROVE anything.

*big sigh*

This weekend Dan and I went to town and got a truck. I'm so excited!! It's a nissan frontier with a canopy, a 4-door! And the dogs fit in it, and everything else fits in it! And I'm just soooooo excited!!! It's been so much fun! Especially since the subaru was starting quickly to go downhill.

That's been my most recent excitement. We already found a dirt road and went driving. It was awesome.

School is going. Going going going. I'm so tired of college. I just need it to be done. Even though I have really amazing teachers and good classes, I just can't handle it anymore though.

Alright, off to do homework.

It's funny how one thing can ruin your day. I lost my federal work study because I wasn't employed by the school first term. Only, I was, but I got credit for it first term so I didn't get paid. So it's frustrating, and it's not that a huge deal or anything, but it's just, grrr.

So I'm watching Elizabethtown. I'm hoping it'll make me feel better.